My Dad {9.24.56-7.11.15}

On Saturday, July 11, 2015, I received one phone call that no one would ever want to receive.  I was outside talking to my neighbor when my phone rang, it was a (360) number that I didn't recognize, so I sent it to voicemail and continued chatting away.  As I was walking back into the house, I listened to the voicemail..."Lisa, this is Heather from the Skagit County Coroners Office, can you give me a call when you get this message please..." F*CK.  That's exactly what I said when I heard the message. I was no dummy...I knew there was only one reason on earth a coroners office would be calling you and I also only knew ONE person in Skagit County that I would receive that call for...my daddy.

I called Heather back right away and she was seriously one of the nicest, most helpful people I've ever had to talk to.  Maybe she has to be in her line of work, but I really feel she went out of her way to assist me that night.  I am 1.5-2 hours away, I have never had to deal with this before, I had no idea where to start or what to do, I had no idea what had happened.  I did know that my dad had none of his affairs in order and I did  know that was not a good thing.  Once I got off the phone with her, I called each of my sisters (both are 1/2 sisters and we share the same dad - obviously).  Both sisters are younger than me and both live out of state (in CA).  I called the oldest one...the next day was her birthday; definitely not the gift I wanted to call and give her.  I called the youngest one and delivered the bad news again.  I then called one of my dad's longest friends that I have known for years and he said when he saw my name come up on his phone, he knew.  Ugh.  He knew there would be no other reason I'd be calling him...and he was right.

My sisters were very emotional...I on the other hand went into straight business mode.  I was probably the closest to my dad out of the 3 of us and that was mainly because I have lived the closest in proximity to him for the longest and have spent the most time with him.  You'd think I would've been crazy emotional...I wasn't.  I just went into business mode...what needs to be done and what needs to be done first and how do I get it done.  Ugh, again. I can report that I have had a couple cryfests by now - I'm not a jerk.  I loved my dad so much and I think the easiest way for me to deal with it right now is to just "work" on his stuff.  I know more emotional outbursts will come, but for now...I have a lot of work to do.

The coroner ordered an autopsy on my dad since we had no idea what he died from.  He had a few medical issues here and there, but nothing that we would've considered life threatening right now.  He was overweight, he didn't lead the healthiest of lifestyles, but he was not to where we worried about this happening.  The preliminary autopsy report is suggesting my dad died of an "enlarged heart" due to lifestyle, not due to a heart condition.  He died of a heart attack.  Thankfully for my sisters and I, this was due to lifestyle and not something congenital - he didn't have a heart condition that either of us need to worry about - assuming we stay at a decent weight and don't eat exceptionally unhealthy. I'm trying to work on all that now - I will NOT leave my kids when I am only 58 years old.  My dad was too young to die.  I am too young to not have a dad around anymore.  My kids are too young to not have one of their grandpa's around anymore.  I know a few of my friends have lost their dad's in the past year too - I know I am not alone in this, but it doesn't make it suck any less.

My dad wanted a son of his own SO bad and he was blessed with three daughters instead!  When I was pregnant and we found out I was having a boy; my dad was ecstatic!  He was so excited, probably more so than we were (and we were thrilled to be having a boy)!  He couldn't wait to buy all the boy-toys and spoil Zane and eventually Landon...and that he did.  He loved those boys more than anything and he was always so proud of them!  Anything I would put on Facebook about them, he would immediately share on his own page for all of his friends to see.  I sure hope my boys know how much they were loved by this man.

I hope more than anything that my dad knows how much I loved him.  But I really don't think he did. I didn't know how much you realized how much you loved someone until they were gone...and because of that, I am sure that I never told him just how much, because I don't think I even knew.  I love you daddy and miss you more than you will ever know.  I will make sure that my boys know who their Grandpa Hay was and just how much you loved them.